How often have you endeavoured to teach your children values such as vision, boundaries, authenticity, listening and empathy? Timothy Smith in a book called, The Danger of Raising
NICE Kids, suggests that many parents struggle to teach such values. Consider where most of our time goes. We live in a very competitive society where we know that if we work hard we’ll be able to beat the crowd. That usually means we’re busy making a successful living and don’t often enough take time to consider the long term values of God’s Word for ourselves or our children. We want our kids to have good manners, and rightly so. But it takes more than good manners to make a difference for God. What if a young person has social skills but lacks internal strength and courage? What if they too easily give in to peer and cultural pressures?
How do we teach those deeper values? Our first need is to keep monitoring our own lives. If we’re under stress, we may want our children to grow up too fast, packing in lots of activities, but not paying attention to their spiritual and emotional growth and particular needs at each stage of their lives. Instead, let’s remind ourselves that as trainers we ask, “How can I train her for life; how can I develop his character; how do we grow our children from the inside out?”
Consider the following examples:
*They need more than self esteem and a competitive edge. Help them to be able to take criticism without falling apart. When they fail, help them to try again without blaming others for their failure.
*Help them develop an accurate, Biblical view of themselves, knowing their strengths and weaknesses rather than unrealistic expectations.
*Help them feel good about themselves without thinking of themselves as gods. It’s really about discipling our children. And at the same time, it’s about letting God shape and train us.
Produced by Helen Vanderbom; Children’s Work Coordinator;
CRCA:childrens@crca.org.au
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